As we step into February, the month often associated with connection, care, and love, we at Namaspa Yoga Community are embracing an even deeper and broader interpretation of these themes – one rooted in nonviolence/non-harm (ahimsa), loving-kindness (metta), and conscious communication, both on and off our mats.
These themes, principles, and practices are especially relevant as we introduce our new Touch with Care Policy, which is designed to advocate for and support safe, respectful, and consensual touch everywhere within our business and studio settings. Alongside this policy, and in perfect timing to showcase the power of building communication skills and giving and receiving consent within a yoga studio setting, we’re excited to feature an upcoming Valentine’s Day Partner Yoga Workshop led by experienced partner and acroyoga instructors, Deven Sisler and Susan Towey.
But before we roll out our mats and lean into each other (literally), let’s take a moment to explore how yoga philosophy, principles, and practices can be powerful tools for cultivating nonviolence/non-harm, compassion, and mindful, empowered communication.
The yamas, as a part of the traditional eight limbs of yoga, are a set of restraints practiced on the path toward living an ethical life, aligned with Divine principles. Ahimsa, or nonviolence/non-harm is one of the yamas, one of these ethical principles. But this principle and the applied practice of nonviolence extends beyond simply refraining from creating physical harm. Ahimsa is a robust and active practice of cultivating kindness, compassion, respect, and care for ourselves and others not only in action, but also in word, thought, and frequency/vibration.So while the simplest or most obvious examples of ahimsa might be nonviolence in the form of refraining from creating or perpetuating physical harm, ahimsa also applies to the way we communicate, the way we hold space for others, and even the way we touch.
From the teachings on ahimsa within the yogic tradition, a natural and beautiful connection and bridge can be made with the principle and practice of metta, or loving kindness, that is prominent within Buddhist traditions, lineages, and practices. Similar to ahimsa, and also adding an additional unique flavor of its own, metta is a cultivation of patience, goodwill, and generosity for oneself and others.
Both ahimsa and metta are wonderful and powerful qualities to cultivate in the context of personal relationships with family, friends, loved ones, partners, colleagues, etc. An additional aspect of ahimsa and metta that is sometimes overlooked, however, is their power as spiritual forces – as qualities that are not unique only to interpersonal human relationships, and which are, in fact, huge forces at play in the wider Universe, or Creation-at-large.
For example, have you ever been moved to deep feeling, or even tears, while gazing into the eyes of someone you love? Or into the eyes of a stranger? Or an animal? Have you ever been deeply moved when witnessing another in an act of devotion? Or in taking a stand for someone or something they care about? Have you ever seen a news story that touched such a deep chord of compassion inside, it hurt? And made you wish or pray that the person or people on the screen didn’t have to suffer?
These examples point toward what can be called more ‘transpersonal’ experiences of ahimsa and metta; and although they are similar to the ways they show up in personal/interpersonal relationships we have with others in our day to day lives and environments, they are also slightly different. As food for thought, it is also a powerful contemplative or meditative practice to expand our ‘human-level’ – and thus limited – view of ahimsa and metta as spiritual forces, by opening to receive these qualities (e.g, as blessings, or as grace) from benevolent spiritual beings and guides who truly serve humanity's highest and best good in/from spiritual realms.
These ‘levels’ of ahimsa and metta – personal/interpersonal, transpersonal, receiving them from Beings who look after and care for humans from other realms – also all feed one another. For example, transpersonal experiences of these spiritual forces will grow and flourish in our lives if/when we intentionally cultivate a foundation of them within our daily lives and relationships.
Which leads seamlessly into some examples of what ahimsa and metta look like at NYC!
As described in the full Touch with Care Policy, one non-negotiable aspect of creating a community and spaces that are as safe, respectful, and inclusive as possible for everyone, physical touch at our studios and at off-site Namaspa-sponsored events must always be consensual.
And if you're curious about what that means and what that looks like in practice, as well as how to build communication skills around healthy and consensual touch, skillfully-facilitated partner and acroyoga classes and workshops can be a powerful, healing, and transformative setting for exactly all of this!
If you've ever talked to NYC teacher and well-known and widely respected kids and family yoga teacher and teacher trainer, Deven Sisler, about her own journey to finding partner and acroyoga, and later teaching it and training others to teach it, you've probably heard her talk passionately about some of these topics. One of the infinite reasons Deven is so skillful at her facilitation of partner and acroyoga is because of her authentic love and joy for the practice and what she's seen it transform in her own life, and in the lives of others -- all within the context of intentional containers and settings that are rooted in curiosity, play, exploration, and consent.
Now, on the surface, you might find it odd to use the words curiosity, play, and exploration in tandem with the word consent. But in Deven's mind and eyes, that's the whole point! In fact, the ongoing and explicit invitations in her classes and workshops for participants to opt in (or out) at any given moment; to communicate with their partner (whether a stranger or someone they know) what they want or need within the pose or interactive activity; and to ongoingly have the choice to give (or not) consent for different kinds of touch, are the VERY things that create the possibilities and openings for partner yoga to be the fun, playful, and exploratory practice it is!
In other words, partner yoga is a beautiful opportunity to practice ahimsa and metta in real time!
Unlike solo yoga practice, partner yoga involves shared movement and/or postures, different kinds of touch (e.g., Thai massage stretches), and times when one person might support some or all of the weight of another person. This can bring up a mix of emotions – joy, excitement, nervousness, or even discomfort. And that’s okay! The key is creating an environment where all feelings are welcome, and everyone has the agency to express their needs and give and receive feedback in the moment. This can be as simple as:
“I love this stretch, can we hold it a little longer?”
“That’s a bit too much pressure, can you be a little more gentle?”
“I’d rather not do this posture, let’s modify or try something else.”
Ahimsa and metta in partner yoga might look like:
Being gentle with yourself when something feels challenging, and asking for what you need, rather than ‘pushing through’;
Holding space for another’s experience without judgment or expectation;
Encouraging your partner to ask for what they want or need when they feel unsure, without pushing or pressuring them into anything;
Celebrating connection rather than “perfecting” poses;
Refraining from trying to fix anything for yourself and/or your partner, and instead, practicing being present with an open heart.
While all of the above examples may seem simple, many of us struggle with expressing our needs, especially in settings where we feel we should “go with the flow.” Deven gives the example of how, in school, most of us have been taught and conditioned to ‘do whatever the teachers says, no matter what.’ And then she shares how her experience of yoga in general and partner yoga in particular is very different because it calls the whole social pattern of behavior around authority figures ‘always knowing what’s best’ into question. Partner yoga invites us to break these patterns by speaking up, listening, and adjusting – just as we would want to do in any healthy relationship.
One of Deven’s favorite workshop moments happened during a previous Valentine’s Day partner yoga workshop. A couple, who had been experiencing stress from some challenging life challenges, realized they hadn’t both felt relaxed at the same time for months. Simply moving together, breathing together, and engaging in playful touch in a structured setting allowed them to reconnect in new, different, and deeper ways.
Some additional principles it’s important to recognize when it comes to, for example, our yoga studio setting here at NYC, include:
Practicing ahimsa and metta means respecting our own boundaries and those of others;
Reminding ourselves that what feels good for one person might be uncomfortable for another;
Remembering that yoga, while a practice of connection, is also deeply personal, and we it's never necessary to know or understand someone's 'why' around saying no to something (unless the openly want to share this).
One of the biggest misconceptions about partner yoga (or any kind of assisted yoga) is that if you’re there, you’re automatically comfortable with all forms of touch. That’s not true – and it shouldn’t be! The ability to choose when and how we are touched is an essential part of creating an environment that is as safe and respectful as possible for everyone.
Below are a few ways Deven integrates choice and consent into her partner and acroyoga classes and workshops:
Encouraging participants to check in with each other before each new posture;
Offering modifications for those who prefer less touch or interaction;
Inviting people into experiences that build connection, without forcing intimacy – for example, for some people, eye contact can feel more intimate than touch, so offering poses where people can stretch together while sitting back to back;
Creating space for people to change their minds at any time – because consent is always an ongoing conversation (our new Touch with Care Policy ensures students always have the opportunity and choice to opt in or out of physical adjustments, whether in a solo yoga class or a partner workshop).
So, if you’re curious about exploring partner yoga in a light-hearted, safe, and structured setting, we invite you to join Deven and Susan’s Valentine’s Day Partner Yoga Workshop on Friday, February 14, 7:00-8:30pm. Whether you come with a romantic partner, a friend, or a loved one, this workshop will:
Support you in exploring and developing communication skills;
Invite deepening connection and trust-building through mindful, consent-based touch, stretching, and postures;
Open opportunities to play, have fun, and laugh together in community.
No prior yoga or partner yoga experience necessary – just an open mind and a willingness to explore. Deven and Susan will guide you through playful, accessible partner poses, relaxation techniques, and gentle Thai massage elements (all with clear consent practices built in).
Partner yoga is more than just a fun activity -- it’s a microcosm of how we interact with the world. By practicing ahimsa, metta, and consent on the mat, we develop skills that help us navigate relationships with greater awareness, compassion, and confidence.
And as we continue to cultivate a yoga community rooted in respect, care, and inclusivity, we invite you to join us in embracing these values – not just in February, but every day of the year. Whether through mindful, consensual touch, compassionate words, or simply offering someone the space to be listened to and heard, each of us has the power to contribute to the culture of safety, trust, and connection we all yearn for.
So let’s roll out our mats, breathe deeply, and practice together—with care, kindness, and a whole lot of heart!
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